We purchased an old farmstead, which hadn't been properly maintained for 10-15 years. Don't get me wrong, the "bones" of the home are in good condition, but WOW is all I have to say about the rest. Ladd and I knew when we took on this project that it would be labor intensive, especially since we are on a limited budget. Little did we know what was in store for our little family of five.
Ladd and I sat down with pen and paper after doing a thorough walk-through, taking measurements, creating a necessary supplies listing and the projects were listed one-by-one in the order which they needed to be completed . . . electrical, plumbing, gutting, restoring, etc. We put numbers to each of the projects and prayed that we had calculated every project correctly. We were ready, or so we thought.
We dedicated every Friday night to family night, making sure to set aside all other cares or thoughts and just focus on our kiddos. Each Saturday morning we would rise before the sun, pump ourselves full of coffee, kiss our little ones see-ya-later, leave a household Saturday chore list for the kiddos and head to "The Farm". At first Ladd and I thought we needed to work on projects together, but soon discovered this was not an ideal match as we have two separate work styles and almost killed each other on day one. We worked from before sun-up till sun-down, then drove home, crawled through the door (literally) and started our night with our kiddos.
Now please note that when I mentioned crawling through the door, it was literal. Our bodies were sore and tired after standing on a ladder for 6 hours, ripping out walls, painting for 10 hours straight or holding hands over our heads installing walls or lighting for hours on end. Many Saturday nights were spent with long, hot baths to remove paint, caulking, glue, spackling and various other construction materials. Since our kiddos missed us and we missed them, you would often find me in the tub soaking with the shower curtains drawn while the girls chattered away telling me about their day and asking about what had been accomplished during our day of work.
Though we tried to stay consistent with our church attendance on Sundays, we often found ourselves doing a repeat of Saturday as we neared the end of our remodeling project. We took turns going to "The Farm" throughout the week to finish miscellaneous projects and prepare for the following Saturday so we could tackle another big project. We made sure to always have one of us home in the evenings to help the kiddos with homework, prepare a hot, nutritious dinner and follow bedtime routines. Exhausted is what we felt, completely exhausted. We started getting short with each other, even resorting to grunting what might be name calling when we were too exhausted to formulate coherent sentences. I am not even sure we could fight properly as we were too exhausted.
At some point in this process we conceded to agree not to agree on all things and to listen to each other. I mean really listen to each other, not the "oh I heard you, now I am going to do my own thing" kind of listening. We would sit down and talk things through, sometimes having to draw pictures, ask questions which seemed strange to one another and wait while the other one spoke. We learned to love each other's opinions, even if they differed from ours. We had to be creative during this process of remodeling when we discovered there was no way we could accomplish a project within a budget because of a "surprise". We learned to stop and hug each other and say "I love you" more often than before as we both needed to hear it. We learned to thank our children for the sacrifices they made to manage our household duties on Saturday's while we were away.
We learned that remodeling is NOT for Sissies, but for those who are willing to accept the challenge of not just tearing down and reconstructing walls, but to really work at the true foundation of a home . . . love.
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