Random Christmas Thought #3

Well, today my mind is drawing a complete blank on what random thought I could share.  Oh wait!  I just now thought of something!

A few weeks ago Ladd and I were enjoying our morning coffee together, looking at our Christmas tree and feeling a bit nostalgic.  Ladd shared some funny stories about his Christmas’ growing up and then turned to me and asked what funny memories I had of Christmas as a child.  After a few minutes of thought, I looked at him and said “I don’t have those type of good memories growing up”.  During those few moments of thought, all I could think of were my memories of divorced parents quibbling their way through Christmas Eve and Day, fighting of who got what kids at what time, never once asking us what we wanted.  Hours and hours of traveling from one family to the next, on the road most Christmas’ because both parents felt the need to be close to their kiddos on holidays.  I thought of Christmas’ at step families where my sisters and I were never even acknowledged, sitting for hours in homes where we were not even wanted.  I thought of the “re-gifting” we received when we showed-up and the step families realized they were obligated to give a child a gift they hadn’t even thought about.  My favorite, age 13, a set of spatulas, in an open box, re-taped and re-wrapped.  Oh, poor pitiful me right?

These thoughts of bitterness and sadness felt a bit overwhelming for a few days.  Why couldn’t I think of a happy thought surrounding Christmas I kept asking myself.  Then it dawned on me, I had ALLOWED those thoughts to become a part of my holiday memories, defining how I act and react during the holidays.  Though the thoughts have defined many of my traditions now – never leaving home on Christmas day, always welcoming others into our home during the holidays and hugging my family and friends close and telling them how much they are needed, wanted and loved – these same thoughts have cast a dark shadow around this joyous season.  I made my decision right then and there, my thoughts would turn to the good memories of the holidays.

Eliciting the smells and sounds of my Grandma and Grandpa Allen’s house on Christmas morning, anxiously awaiting the gift opening while enjoying a huge breakfast including my favorite spiral sliced ham, chocolate gravy and biscuits.  Remembering the hours of baking with my Grandma’s, decorating trees and listening to the Christmas story right out of Luke.  Going with my Grandpa to shoot down mistletoe so he could hold it over my Grandma’s head and give her sweet kisses on the cheek when returning home.  Watching as everyone unwrapped simple gifts my Grandma Gregory would wrap for everyone . . . socks pinned end to end and stuffed in cardboard wrapping tubes, bras made into slingshots and wrapped like presents you would see in a storefront window, and underwear with buttons and glitter added to sweeten the expressions of those who opened these gifts.  Hearing beautiful carols in my ears and feeling the frosty air on my face.  These are the memories that will now flood my head when I hear the words “Christmas memories”.

My wish for your today is that you will ALLOW good memories to fill your heads and hearts as we approach Christmas day.  That thoughts of loved ones present and past are beautiful and sweet.  I am wishing GOOD thoughts for you today.