Random Christmas Thought #5

During Christmas I tend to think about loved ones in such a sentimental way.  I remember the most tender of moments and those that make me laugh.   Our family lights candles each Christmas morning as a way to remember those which are not able to celebrate with us, but we want to remember and include in our celebration.  Ladd’s father, Adam, my grandparents, Conward and Wanell and JV and Lucille.  In Christmas’ past, we only lit 3 candles, but last year the triangle of three became a circle of 5 candles.  It felt sad to light the candles and I spent my morning feeling a bit weepy, that is, till I received a call from my sister.  The remainder of Christmas was spent sitting in the hospital holding the hands of my nieces, comforting them and hugging my sister providing her words of encouragement and praying with the family.  My sister’s sweet mother-in-law, Mildred, had a stroke last Christmas and their lives have changed ever since.  They had always planned every Sunday lunch, birthday, holiday, summer fish fry, and pumpkin carving to include sweet Mildred.  Now Mildred does not always remember her family nor is she able to recollect the many memories of the past.

I tell you all of this because I want you to remember, it’s not that a person is with us or not with us physically.  What is important are the memories we hold.  Focus on the good memories, the ones that lift you up, encourage you and make you smile.  Embrace the tears you may shed and the belly laughs you may exert.  Take time to create new memories and traditions this year. 

Random Christmas Thought #4

Bet you thought I wouldn’t have any more thoughts left after yesterday’s rather lengthy thought.  Well, today should be a bit shorter.

Earlier this week when as I was doing my grocery shopping, I noticed a skinny woman and an even skinnier child standing in the canned goods aisle. I noticed the little girl discreetly put a can of Vienna sausages in her coat pocket and the mother do the same.  Looking down at my cart and realizing how full it was and how very little I was intending to spend with all my coupons in hand, I just couldn’t let this act go unnoticed.  I approached the woman and daughter and gently asked if I could pay for the items in their pockets.  She was noticeably embarrassed, but that was not my intention.  After a few moments of tears and asking me not to tell anyone, she let me know of her recent loss of job, husband, electricity and now her pride.  The next few moments we shared were my favorite.  We picked out several other canned goods, peanut butter, bread, fresh fruit, and a few other items.  The items did not cost me much out of pocket, but they meant the world to this struggling mother.  I provided her some information to assist her with her current situation, we said a prayer and she went along her way with child in hand.

So many times I find, especially during the holidays, I get so busy that I lose sight of what is truly important, those around us.  Today, I encourage you to look around and see what act of kindness you can perform to help someone who might be struggling.  Give a hug, an encouraging word, a sack of groceries, a thoughtful prayer, or a pat on the back.  My wish for you today is that you will realize how important you are, how uniquely you were created and how you have the ability to positively impact others.  Blessings to you today!

Random Christmas Thought #3

Well, today my mind is drawing a complete blank on what random thought I could share.  Oh wait!  I just now thought of something!

A few weeks ago Ladd and I were enjoying our morning coffee together, looking at our Christmas tree and feeling a bit nostalgic.  Ladd shared some funny stories about his Christmas’ growing up and then turned to me and asked what funny memories I had of Christmas as a child.  After a few minutes of thought, I looked at him and said “I don’t have those type of good memories growing up”.  During those few moments of thought, all I could think of were my memories of divorced parents quibbling their way through Christmas Eve and Day, fighting of who got what kids at what time, never once asking us what we wanted.  Hours and hours of traveling from one family to the next, on the road most Christmas’ because both parents felt the need to be close to their kiddos on holidays.  I thought of Christmas’ at step families where my sisters and I were never even acknowledged, sitting for hours in homes where we were not even wanted.  I thought of the “re-gifting” we received when we showed-up and the step families realized they were obligated to give a child a gift they hadn’t even thought about.  My favorite, age 13, a set of spatulas, in an open box, re-taped and re-wrapped.  Oh, poor pitiful me right?

These thoughts of bitterness and sadness felt a bit overwhelming for a few days.  Why couldn’t I think of a happy thought surrounding Christmas I kept asking myself.  Then it dawned on me, I had ALLOWED those thoughts to become a part of my holiday memories, defining how I act and react during the holidays.  Though the thoughts have defined many of my traditions now – never leaving home on Christmas day, always welcoming others into our home during the holidays and hugging my family and friends close and telling them how much they are needed, wanted and loved – these same thoughts have cast a dark shadow around this joyous season.  I made my decision right then and there, my thoughts would turn to the good memories of the holidays.

Eliciting the smells and sounds of my Grandma and Grandpa Allen’s house on Christmas morning, anxiously awaiting the gift opening while enjoying a huge breakfast including my favorite spiral sliced ham, chocolate gravy and biscuits.  Remembering the hours of baking with my Grandma’s, decorating trees and listening to the Christmas story right out of Luke.  Going with my Grandpa to shoot down mistletoe so he could hold it over my Grandma’s head and give her sweet kisses on the cheek when returning home.  Watching as everyone unwrapped simple gifts my Grandma Gregory would wrap for everyone . . . socks pinned end to end and stuffed in cardboard wrapping tubes, bras made into slingshots and wrapped like presents you would see in a storefront window, and underwear with buttons and glitter added to sweeten the expressions of those who opened these gifts.  Hearing beautiful carols in my ears and feeling the frosty air on my face.  These are the memories that will now flood my head when I hear the words “Christmas memories”.

My wish for your today is that you will ALLOW good memories to fill your heads and hearts as we approach Christmas day.  That thoughts of loved ones present and past are beautiful and sweet.  I am wishing GOOD thoughts for you today.

Captn' Crunch

My kids LOVE cereal, but not like most kids you imagine.  We normally have a well-balanced, nutritious first meal of the day (english muffins, eggs, fresh fruit, milk, juice, etc.).  When my kids have the opportunity to select the cereal of their choice, it's usually corn flakes, rice krispies, frosted wheat and such . . . not the really sugary, negative nutrition types of cereal often found displayed proudly on the shelves.

My husband on the other hand has his sugary favorite . . . good ole' Captn' Crunch.  He can eat an entire box in one sitting.  He has been known to take a mixing bowl, fill it full of cereal, then place his hand over the bowl while pouring milk to prevent the cereal from overflowing.  I only buy this cereal a few times a year, which makes it a really special treat for my husband.

Upon my last purchase, my youngest daughter, Aggie, discovered her love of this cereal as well. I brought home my quarterly purchase of Captn' Crunch and before my husband even had his first attempt at a bowl, she had eaten the entire box!  It took her a few meals and snacks to accomplish this, but she was successful.

Back to the store I went for another box.

With Aggie's new found love of Captn' Crunch, Adam decided he should also have his hand at this sugary treat, so he also chowed down and polished off another box.  Again, this was before Ladd had the opportunity to have a single bite!

Back to the store I went for another box.

Upon return home with this box, I informed the children they were to leave this box alone so their dad could have a bowl.  Because I made such a hustle bustle about the situation, Alexandria then decided she better try herself a bowl as well.  The other children saw this and assumed I had given permission to open the box and before you knew it . . . poof! All gone!  Really?

Lucky for me, I had hidden another box and Ladd got his very own box that Saturday morning.  Yes, he shared.

Now when I want to get the kiddos together quickly in the kitchen, all I have to do is say "Captn' Crunch in the house".

Random Christmas Thought #2

As promised, I have another random thought to share.

This morning I was snuggled in the warmth of my bed thinking “What the heck Ladd, really???”.  Normally I get up, start coffee, let the dog out, iron Ladd’s clothes, let the dog back in, then head back to making lunches, breakfasts, and getting kiddos ready to go to school before starting my day.  Well, this morning Ladd decided to take on the morning routine.  Up before 5 a.m. he sang loudly in the shower, turned on EVERY SINGLE light in the bathroom, bedroom, hallway, living room and kitchen, loudly clamored around getting the ironing board out of the closet (yes the board squeals loudly when setting it up), even the sound of the spray starch made me want to jump out of the bed and violently scream STOP IT ALREADY!!!!!!  Ladd hummed and sang and made small talk, all the while I laid there like a hung-over, ungrateful wife wishing he would just shut up, turn off the lights and give me 30 more minutes of sleep.

Then, like a wave of happiness, a new thought came to my mind.  As I watched him through bleary eyes ironing his pants for the first time in 8 years, I saw my Grandma’s old heavy iron he was using.  I have had many irons in my time, mostly the $5 specials you can get from Dollar General.  Like clockwork, they give out over time.  They burn out, break, start leaking water, or my favorite is when the begin depositing black specks on the clothes.  All the low quality irons I have had over the years have given out on me, leaving me to figure out the wrinkled clothes situation once again.

This thought made me think of dear friends and family.  Like my Grandmother’s old faithful iron, they have been with me through thick and thin, helping me to “iron out” life’s little hiccups and wrinkles.  My Grandmother always said to pick your friends wisely and take good care of them so they will always remain good friends.  Today, I wish for you . .  faithful, quality friends and family that will be there when you need them, be quiet when you need an ear, talk when you don’t have the voice and love you for who you are. 

Random Christmas Thought #1

My goal is to share one random Christmas thought each day this week leading up to Christmas.

I wasn’t able to sleep last night, so I turned to cleaning out closets and desk drawers to occupy my time and hopefully tire me to the point that I would fall sound asleep.  As I cleaned out desk drawers of each of my kiddos desks, I ran across pieces of art which they had made in school, candy which they were hiding, pencils they hadn’t been able to find, a winter jacket that had been sworn as being stolen by the bottomless clothes monster, and lots of meaningless papers.  It felt a bit overwhelming to realize how much “stuff” could accumulate if not monitored.  We live in a country full of “stuff”, surrounded by “stuff”, always looking for more “stuff” to fill a void or want.

I then started thinking of all of the children and families that don’t have the same opportunities we have here.  I often hear myself and others complaining about the money spent – some don’t even have money to buy a piece of bread; about not feeling well and making another visit to the doctor – imagine never having the opportunity for health; about overeating during the holidays – there are those that haven’t eaten in days or even weeks. 

As I thought on all of this, I realized, we are not just blessed, but abundantly blessed. Look around you today and see if you can extend your hand to someone.  Before you buy that coffee, or next Christmas gift, or meaningless knick knack – ask yourself if there is someone you could help today.

So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable. Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless.

~ 1 Corinthians 15:58 

Many blessings to you and your family today.

Children's Moment: Grandma's Christmas Tree

Are you all excited about Christmas?  What is your favorite part of Christmas?

Well, my favorite part of Christmas is putting up the tree.  I have great memories of decorating the Christmas tree with my Grandma Allen when I was younger.  I am allergic to pine and cedar and fir, so my Grandmother’s tree was about the only tree I got to really enjoy growing up because she had a fake tree.  It was an all-day process to put up Grandma’s tree.  During Phase 1, Grandpa had to go to the basement and bring up the big box.  Grandpa, like magic then mysteriously disappeared for several hours.  While he was gone, we unboxed the tree, then took the tree branches outside and thrashed them around a bit to knock off the dust and the fake snow my Grandma had used one year.  We separated out the different sized branches while Grandma put the base of the tree together and tried to get it to stand up straight.  After this we “fluffed” the branches to make sure the tree would be full, we wrapped the stand in greenery so nobody would know it was a fake tree, then we set about assembling the tree.

After we assembled the tree Grandma would stand back and look at the tree to make sure the branches looked right, make the adjustments and then we would start on Phase 2.

During Phase 2 we strung out all of the lights to make sure they worked.  We then wrapped the tree not once but twice with lights.  Some twinkled, some were colored, some were clear.  Grandma let us pick out the lights and never said a word the year we decided to have a “layered” tree.  The bottom layer was multi-colored lights, the middle layer was clear lights and the top was red lights.  We thought it was cool.  Grandpa on the other hand simply said “I don’t know that I’ve seen anything quite like that”, then he chuckled and went to the kitchen.

During phase 3 we retrieved the cherished boxes of ornaments and white and red tinsel garland from the bedroom closet.  Each year we went through the boxes and reviewed each ornament carefully to make sure it wasn’t broken and was worthy to get hung on the tree.  Grandma used to have these ornaments that had silky string on them and sometimes they got a snag in them and it looked like they had grown a full head of hair between one Christmas and the next.  After we had checked the ornaments, we put hooks on them and began carefully placing ornaments on the tree.  The older kids got to do the ornaments towards the top of the tree, while the younger kids got to place the ornaments on the bottom of the tree.  The oldest child who helped that day got to place the star on the top of the tree.

It was great fun to step back at the end of tree decorating and see the completed project.  My absolute favorite part of the day though was when Grandma would then set us down and remind us of the importance of the Christmas tree.

The tree was a reminder of God’s great love for us.  The tree symbolized the tree upon which Jesus was sacrificed to save us from our sins.  The tree also pointed upwards to remind us to always keep our eyes towards God and be watchful for His return.  The lights were a reminder that Jesus is the way, the truth and the light.  The red garland reminded us of Jesus great sacrifice on the cross for our sins and the white or silver tinsel reminded us of the forgiveness that can only be given when we ask God to wash us clean of our sins.  The star represented the star that shone so brightly the night Jesus was born.

See, to Grandma, the tree wasn’t just a decoration, but an everyday reminder during the holiday season of God’s great love and sacrifice.  I hope you have enjoyed my memories of the Christmas tree and when you return home to see your Christmas tree that you will remember God’s great love for you.

Still in Stage 4 - Completely Pissed Off

I often wish I was non-emotional and just plain numb. Those wishes have not come true as of late. Without being able to discuss publicly what my family has experienced during the past six months, I have been advised that I have now approached the "anger" stage in my grieving process. I have wholeheartedly embraced each stage thus far so as to work through things.

1. SHOCK & DENIAL- check
2. PAIN & GUILT- check
3. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS- check
4. ANGER & BARGAINING - present

Forthcoming . . .

5. THE UPWARD TURN
6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH
7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE

When I look at the 7 steps of grieving I see bargaining right next to anger. I have to say that today, there is no bargaining. I want to kick someone in the head, knock them to the floor, and hang them by their toes above a pool of blood-sucking leeches. I am pissed off and I have no way of expressing that anger other than to blog, cry, pray, read the Bible and do that all over again.

My anger and frustration have captured my every thought today. They have consumed my inner-most being. Beyond words, beyond my own comprehension . . . my thoughts have strayed. Never before have I imagined what went through my head today.

Let me just say this, there is no bargaining, no negotiating, no acceptance of your actions you filthy, disgusting, scum of the earth, sleaze bag, douche sucking, freak. Though I may not get to see your sentence fulfilled the way I feel it should be here on earth, but I am guaranteed you will burn in hell for eternity for your actions.

I thought maybe expressing it in writing might help release some of my frustration; needless to say, I am still in Stage 4.

P E R S P E C T I V E

This morning I was thinking about the word “P E R S P E C T I V E”. There are sooooo many things in life we cannot control or change no matter how hard we try. Who our children are, what our work demands from us, how our bodies are made, what the weather will be like . . . Our P E R S P E C T I V E is one of those few things which we CAN control, change and determine. Webster lists several definitions of this word but my favorite is “the proper or accurate point of view”. I laughed when I read this definition as who is to determine what is proper or accurate? Only the beholder of that particular perspective right?

My challenge to you today is to grasp the most positive P E R S P E C T I V E on every situation you can. When your kids defy you, be grateful they are exploring their independence while you still have the opportunity to nurture them and guide them in the right direction. When your work demands more than you have to offer, be excited that you will be back tomorrow earning wages to support your family in the best way you can. When you feel a bit under the weather, look forward to days of health ahead . . . you will feel better sooner. When the weather turns bleak, be glad that Ace Hardware has sleds on sale, JCP sells umbrellas year-round, and I have a bikini you can borrow if it gets too hot outside!


Keep your P E R S P E C T I V E bright . . . positive . . . and always looking to good things ahead. Just think of the most precious of stones . . . the diamond. A diamond is formed at high temperatures, pressures and depths over a VERY long period of time. Without the right combination, a diamond is not formed. Be a diamond today. Don’t let situations destroy you, let them determine what a gem you are. Be distinguished from those around you because you are SPECIAL, UNIQUE, and incredibly STRONG.